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Seven Facebook Travel Sins

The road to hell and hilarity is paved with overzealous Facebook posts

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Is your Facebook newsfeed littered with updates from people who are always doing amazing things in amazing places? Someone paragliding in Costa Rica, someone else racing leopards in Kenya and one other guy doing handstands on the Great Wall of China... leaving you to wonder why they're taking time out to even log into facebook. While it's all fair and well to let people know what you're up to (especially if it's a cool as the above), spamming your mates with your entire travel itinerary - down to the last toe nail clipping - can leave you lagging behind at second-last place in the Facebook popularity contest [last place is always reserved for the guy who gives blow by blow accounts of his gastric by-pass].

Essential Travel decided to look at the relationship between Facebook and travelling, and earmark the points where it becomes hilariously ridiculous.

7. Thou shalt not declare thy undying love on honeymoon over Facebook

Thou shalt not declare thy undying love on honeymoon over Facebook

It's not only nauseating, it's impractical too. If you are on honeymoon with the love of your life, it doesn’t make sense to talk to them over Facebook. Amateur poetry such as "you are the stars to my moon and the light to my darkness" should remain tucked in your diary forever more, and telling someone that you love them usually means more when said aloud - to their face. The same applies to anniversaries away, but long-distance relationships get a free pass.

6. Thou shalt not narrate thy entire holiday (unless you're Attenborough)

Thou shalt not narrate thy entire holiday

If you want to avoid getting removed from people's news feeds, then don't give up-to-the-minute status updates about what you’re doing and how you're feeling. If you're having an amazing time and doing something cool, forget about everyone back home and live in the moment. Facebook will be there when you get back to your hotel or backpacker's lodge.

5. Thou shalt not post irrelevant photographs

Thou shalt not post irrelevant photographs

Do not take endless photos of crowds, doorways, playgrounds or inanimate objects, and expect people to be bowled over by your artistic vision. Sure, some people take beautiful pictures, and those should be shared, but keep it in perspective. If you've posted more than five photos of the same thing, then you've definitely overcooked it – unless it's pictures of the Northern Lights or Victoria Falls.

4. Thou shalt not bear false witness

Thou shalt not bear false witness

For example: If you post the various combinations of the above status update five times a day all your contacts will know that what you actually mean is, "Holy snakes, I'm so bored and lonely! It's too hot/cold to be outside, so I came to this stinky Internet cafe to see what my friends are doing back at home."

3. Thou shalt not subject thy friends to emotional statuses

Thou shalt not subject thy friends to emotional statuses

Facebook is not an Agony Aunt, especially when you're on holiday. As hard as this may be to believe, no one cares about vague, introspective or over-emotional status updates that could or could not be the lyrics of a James Blunt song.

2. Thou shalt not forget who thy real friends are

Thou shalt not forget who thy real friends are

Don't, in short-lived bursts of excitement, add everyone you meet on holiday to your list of Facebook friends. The moment will pass and you'll go home and realize that they probably won't mean more to you than the five minutes of conversation you once had with them around a bonfire, sharing a bottle of sherry. Leave some of your experiences in your memory bank, and remember to call your real friends back home once in awhile.

1. Thou shalt not forget to actually experience the destination

All good things eventually come to an end. Don't spend your precious vacation time logging into Facebook to see what all your contacts are up to and commenting on their activities. Instead, enjoy the destination you’re visiting. Engage with the local people, eat the local food, and visit the destination's attractions. Always keep in mind that the world you left behind is probably not going to change much before you return.

We ask our audience: what is the worst, most cringe-worthy travel status you've read before - please add it into our comments section, and if it's not too risque, we'll publish it.

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Clayton Truscott

Clayton Truscott

Clayton is a comfortable traveller, having grown up in a small city that was far away from everything. He spent lots of time in the car as a child, driving up and down the coast of South Africa on surfing trips with his family. After studying abroad in the United States and spending a year working in London, he moved to Cape Town, where he completed a Master's Degree in Creative Writing. He now works as a freelance writer for various travel, surfing and action sports publications.