Reading about a cruise company that’s insuring its fleet for more than £1 million against any damage caused by Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, made me laugh. How can you insure against something that doesn’t even exist - or does she? No one knows for sure, but what if the stories are true? Obviously Jacobite Cruises is taking no chances of a monster payout and surely it’s better to be safe than sorry...
Insurance revolves around “what if” scenarios and quantifying the risk or likelihood of it occurring. Without a time machine or crystal ball, it’s impossible to know what the future holds for certain, and crazy things can and frequently do happen. But is this a step too far? Possibly not, if you consider this list of unusual policies already doing the rounds:
Worried about a visit from little green men and the associated counselling costs to get over it? Don’t be! With Alien Abduction Insurance, you won't have to - that is if you can prove you have been abducted and returned to earth. There have been more than 400,000 of such policies sold, promising £1 million in compensation.
Worried about an attack that could leave you howling at the moon or becoming dinner for a blood thirsty vampire? Worry not! Insurance against vampire bites and werewolf attacks can be found. You can even insure against things that go bump in the night, like one English hotel owner who took out a policy to protect customers, employees and himself against death or injury by haunting after seeing a ghost in the hotel’s bar.
Strangely, this chastity-protecting policy wasn’t around for long, but it was requested by three sisters who were concerned they would give birth to Christ. The cover was meant to pay for the cost of bringing up Christ if one of them had a virgin birth. A spokesman for the company said at the time that the sisters “were concerned about having sufficient funds if they immaculately conceived. It was for caring and bringing up Christ”.
Years ago, a photographer decided to take out a policy d’amour in case the model he was filming got married. Apparently, she ended up doing so, but unfortunately his policy had expired. Is that the definition of unlucky in love?
For many expectant mums and dads the thought of twins can be scary, or more so, the extra cost that comes with multiple births. But what about triplets, quadruplets or octuplets? Commonly known as Twins Insurance, such policies will pay out a lump sum if you are to have two or more babies, allowing you to better prepare for the extra financial strain. However, most will stipulate that the policy has to be purchased prior to the 12 weeks scan. OK, maybe this one isn’t crazy, but it is a little bit unusual.
In the United Kingdom, employers can purchase insurance against having two or more employees quitting because they won the National Lottery. We’ve all had this dream at some point. This policy would only pay out if the company lost at least two employees during the same drawing, which sets the odds of collecting on the policy pretty high, that is unless several employees participate in a weekly syndicate.
Is insuring parts of your anatomy as crazy as it sounds? Not if it’s your livelihood! David Beckham insures his legs for £100 million; Gene Simmons, his tongue for £642,949; Bruce Springsteen, his voice for just under £3.9 million. J Lo’s love may not cost a thing, but her booty comes in at just under £17.4 million. But top of the charts, and singing to the tune of just under £643 million, are Mariah Carey’s legs.
Surely someone somewhere has thought of Giant Man Eating Spider Apocalypse Insurance, or even Zombie Apocalypse Insurance, you know... just in case.
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